How Does a Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterized by a sense of grandiosity, lack of empathy, and a need for admiration. People with NPD often try to control those around them to fulfill their needs for power and attention. But what happens when they encounter someone who resists their efforts to control? In this article, we’ll explore how a narcissist reacts when they can’t control you.

Understanding Narcissistic Control

Before we dive into how a narcissist reacts when they can’t control you, it’s important to understand how they try to control others. Narcissists often use manipulation, guilt-tripping, and gaslighting to maintain control over their victims. They may also use physical intimidation, such as standing too close, invading personal space, or using threatening body language. Additionally, they may use emotional abuse, such as verbal attacks, put-downs, and blaming.

The Narcissist’s Reaction

When a narcissist encounters someone they can’t control, they may feel threatened and frustrated. They may also become angry and defensive. Here are some common reactions:

1. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a common tactic used by narcissists to manipulate others into questioning their own reality. When a narcissist can’t control someone, they may resort to gaslighting to regain power. They may deny that they said or did something, or they may twist the truth to make themselves look good. Gaslighting can be very confusing and disorienting, and it can make the victim feel like they are losing their mind.

2. Anger and Blame

When a narcissist can’t control someone, they may become angry and blame the other person for their lack of control. They may lash out with verbal attacks, put-downs, and insults. They may also try to make the other person feel guilty for not doing what they wanted. Narcissists often have a very fragile ego, and any perceived threat to their sense of power and control can be met with rage.

3. Withdrawal

If a narcissist can’t control someone, they may withdraw and give the silent treatment. This is a way of punishing the other person for not doing what they wanted. It can also be a way of manipulating the other person into feeling guilty and apologizing. Narcissists often use withdrawal as a way to maintain control over their victims.

4. Love Bombing

Love bombing is a tactic used by narcissists to manipulate others into doing what they want. When a narcissist can’t control someone, they may resort to love bombing to regain power. They may shower the other person with compliments, gifts, and attention. They may also make promises and commitments that they have no intention of keeping. Love bombing can be very seductive, and it can make the other person feel like they are special and important.

How to Protect Yourself

If you are dealing with a narcissist who is trying to control you, there are some things you can do to protect yourself:

1. Set Boundaries

One of the most important things you can do is set boundaries. Let the narcissist know what behaviors are unacceptable, and stick to your boundaries. This can be difficult, but it’s essential for your own mental health and well-being.

2. Don’t Engage

When a narcissist is trying to control you, they may try to engage you in arguments and debates. Don’t take the bait. Stay calm and don’t let them get under your skin.

3. Seek Support

Dealing with a narcissist can be very stressful and overwhelming. Don’t be afraid to seek support from

trusted friends, family members, or a mental health professional. They can provide you with emotional support, advice, and guidance.

4. Practice Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is essential when dealing with a narcissist. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax, such as reading, listening to music, or spending time outdoors.

5. Consider Ending the Relationship

In some cases, it may be necessary to end the relationship with a narcissist. If the person is causing you harm and is unwilling to change, it may be in your best interest to cut ties. This can be a difficult decision, but sometimes it’s the only way to protect yourself.

Conclusion

Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging and frustrating, especially when they are trying to control you. Narcissists may resort to gaslighting, anger and blame, withdrawal, or love bombing to regain power. It’s important to set boundaries, seek support, and practice self-care when dealing with a narcissist. Remember, you are not responsible for their behavior, and you have the right to protect yourself.

FAQs

Can a narcissist change their behavior?

While it’s possible for a narcissist to change their behavior with the help of therapy, it’s important to remember that change is unlikely unless the person is willing to acknowledge their behavior and take responsibility for it.

Can a narcissist love someone?

Narcissists may be capable of love, but their love is often self-serving and conditional. They may use love as a way to manipulate and control their partner.

Why do narcissists need to control others?

Narcissists need to control others to fulfill their needs for power and attention. They may also use control as a way to protect their fragile ego and maintain their sense of superiority.

What is the difference between a narcissist and a sociopath?

While both narcissists and sociopaths may have a lack of empathy and a disregard for others’ feelings, sociopaths also have a disregard for the law and may engage in criminal behavior.

Can a narcissist be cured?

There is no cure for Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but therapy can help a person with NPD manage their symptoms and improve their relationships.